Runaway Analogy

(He whispers) As I set an analogy in motion, to explain a point during a conversation with a friend, the analogy started to have a mind on its own.  I wanted to use it as an example to clarify a certain situation, but it would not listen and wanted to be free, wanted to cut the chain of command.  It started to slowly alter from its original intention, original appearance, until I finally lost track of it.  It is like a lost house cat, morphed into a cougar.  It is like a bird that found newfound freedom. Shit! Shit, stupid animal analogies… it probably planted those in my head to make me feel that it has gotten far away so I am not paranoid, but I can still feel it, lurking around.  I felt like it has assumed a human form, bought cloth from Ross, and moved into a one-bed room near my neighborhood.   I know it is watching me in the park when I take my kids there.  I know it takes notes of my action behind his shade at the community center pool. It might be that man who generously offered to mow my lawn last weekend.  I thought it was some kind of marketing ploy or something, but he looked too sincere.  It was hard to reject. (Does analogy always sincere? I haven’t taking into consideration of personal attributes.)
I don’t feel safe. I shout my blinds when I go to sleep.  I double check my wife (she has a mole on the inside of her thigh).  I turn my cell phone off. I even got a dog. Sometimes at night I try to remember what the analogy was.  I can never quite get it right.  As soon as I felt like I had it in my hand, it morphs and slips away.  Like an eel.  Yes, it must be it! The original analogy was “catching an eel”!  Is that it, eel? Or that the analogy I have been thinking all this time? No, wait…the “eel” is just the analogy which I tried to explain to you about trying to remember the original analogy was...see, if I can just figure out what I was trying to explain to my friend, then I can figure out the analogy’s original form...but but but...its trying to hide its track by planting new analogy to misdirect and confuse me! (and why are they all base on “animals”?)
Whatever it is, it has crawled under my skin.  It inhabits every thought I have. It appears in all the faces I see on the street...or maybe it just want me to feel that way, so it is to misdirect my attention so it can do something else.  What “something else”?  Does it have wants?  Whatever the analogy was, it has now compromised everything I am saying.  Everything I am telling you now could be the work of the AWOL analogy.  Maybe the analogy is clearing out my bank account while I am explaining this to you! Or maybe it only wants me to think it is clearing my bank account so I would leave my house…Fuck there is no way of knowing what I am saying!

Why is it trying to get back at me? (now I am shouting!) I let you loose and that’s how you treat me, you son of a bitch! You are not even that original of an analogy! I probably said something like, life is like a vessel, or remembering is like fishing in the river or something.  Something that has been used million of time, you literary bastard, leave me be! I just hope it has not got out of proportion.

“No, that’s not possible.  Analogy can’t scale up or down.  You are confusing it with metaphor.”

“Oh really? That’s not so worrisome then.  So let me get this straight while you are here, between analogy and metaphor (and lets stay with the water theme): If I were to describe my heart as a sandcastle on the weathering beach, and its been slowly washing away.  Is that an analogy?

Nope that’s not an analogy.  A standard analogy looks like this: kids making sandcastles on the beach is like adults making love in bed. 

So there, an analogy has more to do with relationship and it always stay in scale.  It is used to explain things in a very clinical manner.  A kid who likes to make sandcastle can be describe as an adult who likes to make love in bed with a partner.  They are both activities, for different age groups.  No one less important, or more.  And it has nothing to do with the hearts, like a metaphor would connote.  Metaphors are sentimental.  Otherwise what’s the point?

I see.  Thanks for clearing it up to me, Professor Boatship.  Now I gotta go home and feed my dog Tommy.